Excessiveness in Joking

They said: What do you say about joking?
I said: It is among the recommended acts—indeed, part of the Sunnah of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم—when it is truthful, pleasant, light-hearted, and refined. Al-Tirmidhi narrated from Abu Hurayrah رضي الله عنه who said: They said, “O Messenger of Allah, you joke with us!” He صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “I only speak the truth.” Al-Tirmidhi said: This hadith is ḥasan ṣaḥīḥ.

They said: Tell us some examples of the Prophet’s صلى الله عليه وسلم joking so that we may understand his style properly.
I said: Al-Tirmidhi narrated in al-Shamā’il that an old woman came to the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم and said: “O Messenger of Allah, pray to Allah that He admits me into Paradise.” He replied: “O mother of so-and-so, no old woman will enter Paradise.” She turned away weeping. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “Tell her that she will not enter it as an old woman. Indeed, Allah says: ‘Indeed, We have produced them in a new creation, and made them virgins, loving and of equal age’ [al-Wāqiʿah: 35–37].”

Also in al-Shamā’il, Anas رضي الله عنه narrated that a man came to the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم requesting a mount. The Prophet said: “I will give you a ride on the child of a she-camel.” The man said: “O Messenger of Allah, what would I do with a baby camel?” The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “Are camels born from anything other than she-camels?”

Al-Tirmidhi also narrates from Anas رضي الله عنه that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم entered the house of Abu Ṭalḥah رضي الله عنه and saw his young son, nicknamed Abu ʿUmayr, looking sad. Anas said: The Prophet used to joke with him whenever he saw him. The Prophet said: “Why do I see Abu ʿUmayr looking sad?” They said: “O Messenger of Allah, his pet bird which he used to play with has died.” Anas said: The Prophet began to say: “O Abu ʿUmayr, what happened to the nughayr (little bird)?”

They said: We used to think joking was a flaw and a disgrace. You are now calling it recommended and part of the Sunnah. Has anyone preceded you in saying this?
I said: Is it not enough for you what I narrated from the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم? Many scholars have affirmed it as Sunnah and recommended. A man once said to Sufyān ibn ʿUyaynah رحمه الله: “Joking is shameful!” He replied: “Rather, it is Sunnah—for the one who knows how to do it well and in its proper place.”

Abū Firās al-Ḥamdānī said:
I revive my soul with a little jest,
Feigning ignorance—though not truly ignorant!
I joke in the manner of noble people,
For sometimes joking renews the mind.

They said: Then explain its proper contexts.
I said: Joking is a means to uplift and refresh the soul. It is a form of ease and relaxation. But it must be used like salt in food—moderately. It should not be driven by desire or base whims. Its proper conditions include:

1. It must not involve mockery of religion or show disrespect toward sacred matters. Allah says:
“And if you ask them, they will surely say, ‘We were only conversing and playing.’ Say: Is it Allah and His verses and His Messenger that you were mocking? Make no excuse—you have disbelieved after your belief.” (al-Tawbah: 65–66)
Ibn Taymiyyah رحمه الله said: Mocking Allah, His signs, or His Messenger is an act of disbelief that nullifies one’s faith.

2. It must be truthful.
A genuine person is honest both in seriousness and in humour. He is free of deceit and trickery. His character is consistent and noble. In Sunan Abī Dāwūd, the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said:
“Woe to the one who lies to make people laugh—woe to him.”
In Musnad Aḥmad, the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said:
“A man may speak a word just to make others laugh, and it will cause him to fall into Hell farther than the Pleiades.”

3. It must not involve harm—neither in words, deeds, nor indirect insult.
Abū Dāwūd narrated from Ibn Abī Laylā who said: The companions of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم told us that while they were travelling with him, one of them fell asleep. Another took a rope and frightened him. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said:
“It is not lawful for a Muslim to frighten another Muslim.”
If joking leads to harm, it ruins one’s dignity and breeds humiliation, giving rise to animosity and resentment.

4. It must be light, not heavy; refined, not vulgar; balanced, not violating moral values.
Excessive joking undermines the dignity of the wise and diminishes the respect of the honourable. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said:
“Do not laugh excessively, for too much laughter kills the heart.”
ʿUmar ibn al-Khaṭṭāb رضي الله عنه said:
“Excessive laughter reduces one’s dignity; frequent joking leads to being taken lightly; and doing too much of anything defines one.”
Saʿd ibn Abī Waqqāṣ said:
“Limit your joking. Excessiveness diminishes grace and invites the foolish.”
ʿUmar ibn ʿAbd al-ʿAzīz رحمه الله said:
“Beware of joking—it destroys honour.”
Abū al-Fatḥ al-Bustī said:
Give your weary soul some rest,
Cheer it with a little jest,
But when you give it jest, make it
As the salt you add to food—just enough.

They said: We find it difficult to uphold all these conditions.
I said: You are right. It is indeed very difficult to maintain balance in conversation. Some people go to extremes in jokes and puns, using indecent words in eloquent and artistic ways. Others go as far as vulgarity, speaking on private matters and women, with flowing speech that stirs desires and draws people into sinful pleasures. Others use humour as a means to hurt, insult, and mock, tearing reputations apart—all in the name of jokes. May Allah forgive us all, grant us fear of Him, and help us abandon vanity and remember the Day of Reckoning.

I said: Every one of you must strive to be noble and virtuous, committed to moral excellence. Avoid excessive joking and refrain from indulging in vain talk. Surround yourself with companions of good character and like nature. Devote yourself to intellectual growth, deep knowledge, and inner rectification—becoming a useful and developing member of a sound and righteous society.

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Translated by AI. Original Arabic article available at: https://t.me/DrAkramNadwi/1625
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