Connecting with Lesbian Neighbours

Connecting with Lesbian Neighbours

By: Dr Mohammad Akram Nadwi
Oxford

Question:
Dr. Farhat Hashimi, the renowned teacher and preacher, shared the following question from a sister:

Assalam A’alaikum, I am a single mother with two children (a 15-year-old son and a 6-year-old daughter) living in a government hostel for over two years. After recovering from severe COVID, I am unable to work or afford to move. Recently, a lesbian couple became my neighbours. We share a common kitchen, and one of them greeted me with Salam and expects me to share food as I do with other neighbours. I am confused about how to interact with them while staying true to my faith. Should I share food with them? Is it okay for my daughter to play with their child? Should I respond when they greet me with Salam? Should I lend utensils or groceries if they ask? What attitude should I maintain toward them? Please include us in your prayers. May Allah ease my difficulties and open my heart to the Quran.

Answer:
Wa ‘Alaikum Assalam wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh,
Thank you for your sincere question. It is important to approach such matters with wisdom, compassion, and a clear understanding of our responsibilities as Muslims.

Firstly, we must distinguish between what is clearly forbidden in the Qur’an and Sunnah and our interaction with people who may live differently. Islam teaches us to avoid all that is haram and to educate ourselves and our children about what is good and evil. We are ultimately accountable to Allah for our actions on the Day of Judgement, so safeguarding our faith and that of our children is paramount.

At the same time, Islam encourages us to maintain good relations with all human beings, regardless of their lifestyle or beliefs. The greatest sins are kufr (disbelief) and shirk (associating partners with Allah), but even with those who differ from us in faith or behaviour, we are instructed to behave kindly and justly. Acts of kindness, such as sharing food or helping others in their needs, are forms of worship in themselves. Disliking sinful behaviour does not mean we should hate or avoid the people involved; rather, we should show them good manners and seek to benefit them through our example and kindness.

In your situation, sharing food and being neighbourly is encouraged, as it promotes harmony and goodwill. You may share your food with them as you do with your other neighbours, provided that it does not compromise your own values or lead to discomfort. When greeted with salam, it is good etiquette to respond, as this spreads peace and reflects the character of a Muslim. Lending utensils or groceries, if possible, is a generous act and also strengthens community ties, but you may use your discretion according to your means and comfort level.

Regarding your children, it is natural to be concerned about their influence and environment. Islam places great emphasis on teaching children the values of the Qur’an and protecting their innocence. If your daughter plays with their child, ensure she understands what is right and wrong, and guide her carefully so that her faith remains strong. You can maintain boundaries while still being respectful and neighbourly.

Remember, protecting yourself and your family from harm does not mean harbouring ill feelings towards others. Instead, approach your neighbours with the intention of kindness, hoping that your good example and attitude may inspire them towards better conduct. Pray to Allah to ease your difficulties, to open hearts, including your own, towards the Quran, and to grant you patience and wisdom in these trying times.

May Allah bless you and your family, strengthen your faith, and provide ease in all your affairs. Ameen.

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