A Son Residing with His Parents After Marriage

A Son Residing with His Parents After Marriage

By: Dr Mohammad Akram Nadwi
Oxford

Question:
Dr. Farhat Hashimi, the esteemed teacher and preacher, shared a question from one of her students:
Asalaamualaykum Dr. Farhat, how are you and your family? Hope all is well.
I would like to know the Islamic standpoint on a son living with his parents after marriage. What is the best solution? To live independently or with parents?

Answer:
Asalaamualaykum,
From an Islamic perspective, it is highly recommended for a married son to provide independent accommodation for his wife, where neither his own family nor her family resides. This is not only a practical arrangement but also a religiously endorsed principle, as the private home is considered a fundamental right of the wife.

Ensuring privacy and independence for the married couple helps establish a harmonious marital life and protects the family from potential domestic conflicts.

The practice of the Prophet’s companions provides a clear guidance on this matter. Upon reaching adulthood, they would leave their parents’ homes and establish their own households. For instance, Abdullah ibn Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) used to sleep in the masjid after attaining adulthood, until he had his own home and married. This demonstrates the importance of independence and self-sufficiency in one’s adult life.

Living with in-laws, whether the son stays with his parents or the wife’s parents, can often lead to misunderstandings, disputes, or unnecessary tensions within the household. Therefore, it is strongly recommended for the couple to live separately.

It is important to note that this recommendation does not imply abandoning or neglecting one’s parents. Islam emphasises the importance of maintaining strong family ties, showing kindness, and supporting one’s parents. Even when living in a separate home, the son should continue to visit, assist, and care for his parents regularly, fulfilling his duties towards them while establishing his own independent family life.

In conclusion, the Islamic standpoint encourages a balance: the son should maintain strong family obligations and respect towards his parents while simultaneously providing an independent home for his wife to ensure privacy, harmony, and the proper establishment of a new family unit.

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