Serving a chronically ill mother

Serving a chronically ill mother

By: Dr Mohammad Akram Nadwi
Oxford

Question:
Dr. Farhat Hashimi, the esteemed teacher and preacher, shared a question from one of her students:
Assalamualaykum dear ustazah 💕I hope you are in good health inshaAllah. May Allah keep you enveloped in His mercy forever💕
Ustazah my mother is extremely ill. She has cancer and it is advanced to the point that now most of her organs are close to shutting down.. and no further treatment is possible – we will be moving her home to keep her in comfort in her last days.
She is very restless and seems to be in pain too sometimes. I wanted to ask what are the best things to say to her and recite near her at this time.. what will comfort her and help her most? In general we do shifa ki duaein and Quran and ayat e sakinah.. are there any words of comfort and reminder we should be giving her too? She can hear us talk but she has no strength to talk and mostly her eyes are closed and she is semi sleeping..
I just want to make sure we are fulfilling her rights as her children and doing the best anyone can do at this time.

Answer:
Wa alaykum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,
May Allah keep you strong and fill your heart with peace during this very testing time. Caring for your mother in her illness is one of the greatest acts of worship, carrying immense reward. In the Qur’an and Sunnah, serving one’s parents is mentioned immediately after the worship of Allah. The wisdom is that when you care for elderly parents, you do so without expecting anything in return, unlike raising children, where a parent may hope for their care later in life.

What you are already doing is beautiful, continue with it. Make sure that you are never impatient or annoyed with her, and that she is never hurt by anything in your words or actions. Treating her gently in every way is part of fulfilling her rights.

If she is able, assist her with her five daily prayers, even if it means helping her to perform tayammum and praying while lying down. If she cannot manage them, then for each prayer you may give a sadaqah equivalent to Sadaqat al-Fitr.

Alongside this, keep reciting Qur’an, authentic adhkar, and duas in her presence. Speak to her of Allah’s endless mercy and forgiveness, as these reminders bring comfort to the heart. Whenever she regains some consciousness, softly encourage her to say la ilaha illallah. That blessed statement is the most beautiful ending for a believer.

May Allah ease your mother’s suffering, envelop her in His mercy, and grant her a peaceful return to Him. And may He reward you abundantly for your love, patience, and service to her.

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