Secret marriages

The question of secret marriages

Some brothers and sisters have asked me to comment on a

practice that is increasingly reported of travelling Muslim scholars and

teachers of Islam in the West, and those who travel to the West as teachers and

preachers. This is the practice of contracting secret marriages in the places

these scholars visit or pass through.

The first thing to be said is that people generally do not

make a secret of actions and relations except when they have some sense that

these actions and relations, if known, would be disapproved of. Those who take

the responsibility of public teaching of Islam must know that they are seen as

representatives of the religion and looked up to as role models. Not only the

words they preach but also their actions and lifestyle influence the decisions

and actions of others; before God they are liable for that influence and for

its consequences in the lives of others. Preachers, teachers, and other public

figures in the community, have a responsibility to ensure that their conduct

adheres to the ideal of those who fear even to displease God, let alone

wilfully disobey His commands or those of His Messenger, upon him be peace.

Good deeds and evil deeds

Every Muslim knows that good deeds repel evil ones. God has

said so in His Book: “Verily, the good deeds remove the evil deeds”.

(Surah Hud 114) The effort of preparing for prayers and doing the prayers

through the day helps to sustain God-wariness, to prevent failures and

shortcomings from becoming established habits with consequences hard to undo.

We strive after good thoughts, words and deeds in order to disable and annul

temptation, so that we acquire, so far as God wills, something to

negate/counter the harms and wrongs that we accumulate to our account over a

lifetime. 

But how many of us are mindful that the converse is also

true: that evil deeds can negate, undo or outweigh good ones? The following is

reported by `Abd al-Razzaq in his Musannaf:

Ma`mar and Sufyan al-Thawri narrated to us from Abu Ishaq,

who narrated from his wife saying that she called among a company of women on

`A’ishah. A woman said to her: O umm al-mu’minin, I had a slave-girl, whom I

sold to Zayd ibn Arqam for 800 with deferred payment of the price. Then I

bought her from him for 600 and I paid those 600 on the spot and I wrote him

800 as debt. `A’ishah said: By God!How evil is what you bought! How evil is

what you bought! Tell Zayd ibn Arqam that he has invalidated his jihad with the

Messenger of God ﷺ, except if he repents. (Abd al-Razzaq,

al-Musannaf, 8/185)

Note here the strength and presence of mind of `A’ishah. In

her indignation against this legal trick to do what God’s law fiercely condemns

and pronounces as illegal (namely, loans on interest), she does not exaggerate

or lose her balance of judgment. She does not hesitate to say of Zayd that, by

taking part in this transaction, he has annulled his effort of jihad. But she also

remembers to say, ‘except if he repents’. Some wrongs (like riba) are indeed so

heavy in their nature and their personal and social consequences that that they

may annul one’s good deeds. Yet, until death is known to be imminent, the door

of repentance is not closed to any sinner, and God has said that He loves to

forgive.

Secret marriage as exploitation

Secret marriage is one of several kinds of violation by men

of the rights and dignity of women. I have been informed that it is

increasingly common for Muslim preachers in Europe and America and for those

visiting the West to marry women in secret and for a short period, after which

they, presumably, end the marriage, before going on to contract another

marriage of the same sort somewhere else. This is a violation of the laws and

good purposes of marriage, and a vicious exploitation of women whose

circumstances oblige them to enter into such contracts. The wrong is analogous

to riba, which is a violation of the laws and good purposes of lending money,

and severely injurious to those whose circumstances force them to borrow in

this illegal way.

Marriage in Islam is presented as a good deed, a noble thing

to do, when it is done in the manner and for the purposes described as ma`ruf –

i.e., according to the known, established norms of kindness and public, legal

form. It is explicit in Surat al-Nisa’ that even when a Muslim contracts a

marriage with a slave, he must inform her family and get their consent, and he

must pay her the mahr. What is explicitly forbidden is taking lovers in secret,

debauchery, and fornication, i.e., sexual relations without responsibility for

the other person and for the consequences of the act. Secret, temporary

marriages are (just like the legal tricks to enable riba) a legal cover for

what is illegal and known to be so.

Marriage is both a personal and social fact for the

contracting parties. It is not merely one and not the other. It is an integral

part of what makes marriage a good deed that it should be done with the

intention of building a legal, social, physical space in which children are to

be welcomed and raised. It is an integral part of what makes marriage a good

deed that it connects families not hitherto connected, or it extends and

consolidates existing connections. In this way, marriage widens the network of

family relations, so that there is multiplicity of siblings and cousins, uncles

and aunts and nephews and nieces, among whom responsibility for each other’s

well-being (physical, economic and spiritual) is shared, usually unevenly, as

means and talents and situations are diverse. The social relationships

facilitate and diversify, and thereby strengthen and support, the burdens of

personal relationship of the husband and wife. It goes without saying that when

a man contracts a marriage he commits himself, in principle, to provide for his

wife for her lifetime – it is not lawful for a Sunni Muslim to contract a

marriage knowing in advance that this commitment is temporary. Let us suppose

that a Sunni Muslim owns an oil-well and he is able to pay out, all at once, as

much money as any woman could expect to have in a whole lifetime: for this

Sunni Muslim it is still unlawful to contract a marriage knowing that it is

temporary, however much he pays out, and unlawful also, obviously, for the

woman. Of this man it may be that his great wealth makes him the greater

sinner, since he could use it not to indulge himself but to assist others to

get married.

What distinguishes a marriage as such, what ennobles it

above any form of improper association of man and woman, is that it is

proclaimed to be a responsible union: marriage proclaims the couple’s right to

privacy and intimacy with each other, and the purposes of that right. The

neighbourhood and community must know the legal status of the couple’s being

together, so that they can celebrate their relation and support it. Secret

marriages, in addition to violating the rights of women, also violate the right

of the community to be spared the innuendoes and slanders that are so

corruptive of social order, harmony and trust. Such marriages do the same

long-term damage to what is nowadays called ‘personal and social capital’, as

American-style fast foods (and other ‘instant’ conveniences, not least social

media ‘friendships’), do to long-term physical and mental health, and to the

long-term sustainability of how food is produced and distributed.

Proclaiming the marriage

The Prophet ﷺ, said: ‘Proclaim the

marriage’ (Sunan al-Nasa’i, 3369; Musnad Ahmad, 15697; Sunan Sa`id ibn Mansur,

635). This a clear injunction that marriages must be proclaimed, made public,

not held in secret. That is the practice of the Prophet himself, of all his

Companions, and of the prominent scholars of the early generations. None of

them ever indulged in secret marriages and they never, explicitly or tacitly,

approved any such marriages. We read in al-Mughni, k. al-Nikah that among those

who expressed explicit disapproval of secret marriages are: `Umar ibn

al-Khattab, `Urwah ibn al-Zubayr, `Ubaydullah ibn `Abdillah ibn `Utbah, `Amir

al-Sha`bi. Abu Bakr `Abd al-`Aziz says: ‘Such a marriage is void’. There too we

find that the majority of the jurists say that the proclamation of marriage is

recommended, i.e., they do not make it a legal condition for the validity of a

marriage, assuming that it has been legally witnessed. Some say that

proclamation is mandatory. This is the opinion of al-Zuhri: ‘If someone marries

secretly, brings two witnesses but commands them to keep it secret, it would be

obligatory to separate the husband and wife’. Similarly, it is reported that

Imam Malik’s opinion is that non-proclamation of marriage invalidates the

marriage (al-Mughni, k. al-nikah).

Even those scholars who do not make proclamation a legal

condition for the validity of a marriage do not express approval for keeping it

secret. Ibn Taymiyyah, as forceful and forthright as ever, likens secret

marriages to prostitution (Majmu` al-fatawa, 32/102).

In sum:

Sunni fiqh condemns secret and temporary marriages (secret

or public) because they are so injurious to the rights and dignity of women,

and because they diminish the good that comes from marriage, namely family life

and family relations with all that they provide of testing and training for

mind, heart and temperament, and for all the consolations of sharing feelings

and experiences across generations. Contracting secret/temporary marriages

reduces marriage to sexual relations in an ugly sort of rental arrangement,

that is profoundly demeaning, especially to women. Accordingly, I strongly

advise women to be careful before they consent to marry anyone. I strongly

advise them to inform, consult with and find support from, family, friends and

community before they make any commitments so that the matter is known, and so

that their rights are observed and respected. It is better (for women and men)

to endure the hardships of being single than to enter into contracts that

insult the laws and norms, and seek to subvert the purposes, of marriage as

commanded by God and His Messenger, upon him be peace.

As for those who present themselves in public as teachers

and preachers of Islam and yet have entered into such contracts, what can I

say? It is obligatory for them that they refresh their intentions in due fear

of God and that they remember that the door to repentance,  to reform, and to making amends, is not

closed.

God’s Messenger has affirmed in many places that God loves

to forgive His creatures if they turn to Him. He makes the way to forgiveness

easy for whoever repents sincerely. No believer’s sins, however great or

numerous, can be greater than His mercy.